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I
wonder if it helps to know that the inquiry
we are involved in has an end! While involved in understanding
ourselves, there are times when we imagine that we have embarked
upon an interminable journey! During such times, I found the
company of like- minded people to be a great blessing. They give
one a sense of support, of friendship, of not being, all alone
in the world. This enables our mind to look deeper into the
nature of confusion. No matter how hard we try, it is only by
seeing the nature of confusion and conflict; that the mind flies
free from it. It does so by seeing that the conceptual paradigm
of reality poses certain problems which need not apply to the
world around one. The absence of a deep-rooted conviction that
life amount to something; that it mean something is, intrinsic
to this freedom.
For me, the insistence that life “mean” something ceased
with the insight: If you look into yourself, what can you expect
to find, other than more of yourself? It was as if my brain was
responding in exasperation! Thankfully, I could not help
laughing then, at my long drawn, self-centered endeavor to find
truth! If you watch the insistence that drives the desire for
truth, it is clear that it is appropriate in the realm of the
spoken world. Why we carry it on to include the real world is a
mystery that is resolved when the nature of psychological
activity becomes clear.
When the limitations of thought in relation to awareness become
evident; we are free from the inquiry that insists that life
(including ourselves) amount to something! As long as this
insistence carries on it is clear that the mind is subject to
the authority of the known. The conditioning, which endorses
this search, is powerful since it begins from the time the child
attempts to acquire language, to make sense of the spoken word.
It is very likely that we do not encounter the same level of
encouragement doing anything else! Therefore, although the
process of making sense, is relevant to the realm of ideas and
is cultivated diligently throughout school; it is blindly
carried on by most of us, with regard to the rest of life.
Thankfully, it is a habit which no longer encroaches upon the
mind as one becomes aware of the urge to interpret everything in
accordance to what is already known and we come to terms with
the implications of relying upon the limited to explain the
limitless! As the nature and limitation of thought become
evident in this manner, our outlook upon life is transformed and
one walks free of the weight of knowledge, of the burden of our
past!
What is present is a capacity to appreciate life as a whole. It
is clear that freedom is responsibility; and needless to say
there is no blinding desire for freedom anymore! Being free of
this desire, psychologically one is also free of fear! There is
a greater presence of mind. The world that one created as a
child remains just that, a product of one’s childish,
imagination. There is no drive, no obligation to fulfill it
anymore! It is as if we are moving in the stream of life
(consciousness). We are never alone except in thought. When we
see the nature of thought that is isolating; we suddenly see
ourselves in the context of life rather than the context of
self, which describes the rigid confines of our attachment to
concepts and things. This is what happens, as the mind lets go
of its’ preoccupations and attachments to ideas and sees life
free, of the insistence that requires it conform to ideas of it!
It is such relief to be free of this inward drive that
complicated life for so long!
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