I convince myself I want understanding...only to find over and over again that my true search is for the attendant comfort that I assume would come with understanding.

My...how I fool myself.

So here I am again. No god, no belief, no comfort, no understanding. No thing left to say.

Bob Dickson wrote:
So here I am again. No god, no belief, no comfort, no understanding. No thing left to say.

You write that like it's a bad thing. Hey, what the hell. Let go of the desire to 'want understanding' and you may have something there.

Bob Dickson wrote:
I convince myself I want understanding...only to find over and over again that my true search is for the attendant comfort that I assume would come with understanding.
My...how I fool myself.
So here I am again. No god, no belief, no comfort, no understanding. No thing left to say.

Then why are you here? If you haven't realized yet that coming here is an escape from the futility of your attempts to free yourself from the implacability of your conviction, you're subjecting yourself to the ministrations of lunatics like Ms. Hemingway, the Doctor, and Mr. Shacklett, just to name but a few of those in this forum who are all too eager to "help" you.

Bob Dickson wrote:
I want understanding...only to find over and over again that my true search is for the attendant comfort that I assume would come with understanding.

My...how I fool myself.

You are not alone in that,there may be variations of expression of conditioning,but the root cause the fundamental is "How I fool myself[desire]".

THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE

David Loucks wrote:
You write that like it's a bad thing. Hey, what the hell. Let go of the desire to 'want understanding' and you may have something there.

Not at all. It just is what it is.

nick carter wrote:
Then why are you here? If you haven't realized yet that coming here is an escape from the futility of your attempts to free yourself from the implacability of your conviction, you're subjecting yourself to the ministrations of lunatics like Ms. Hemingway, the Doctor, and Mr. Shacklett, just to name but a few of those in this forum who are all too eager to "help" you.

I suppose that would upset me if I was looking for help. I'm just looking.

RICK LEIN wrote:
You are not alone in that,there may be variations of expression of conditioning,but the root cause the fundamental is "How I fool myself[desire]".

Yes.

Bob Dickson wrote:
I suppose that would upset me if I was looking for help. I'm just looking.

Don't mind Nick. He's only trying to help. :)

"See thought arising; watch it. Without that, all else is illusion and becoming."

This post was last updated by Dean R. Smith Tue, 24 Aug 2010.

Dean R. Smith wrote:
Don't mind Nick. He's only trying to help. :)

LOL. I don't mind. This board is much more civilized then I remember it ever being before the massive meltdown of 2008 or so.

Bob Dickson wrote:
I convince myself I want understanding...only to find over and over again that my true search is for the attendant comfort that I assume would come with understanding.

Well, if that is your true search, accept it. But also see the illogic. For your desire for comfort will not permit of true understanding. The partial will not permit the whole for the whole swallows the partial, whole.

Accept, or see, that you are in a contradiction. Observe it. It's rather funny, actually.

What are you waiting for?

Bob Dickson wrote:
This board is much more civilized then I remember it ever being before the massive meltdown of 2008 or so.

Stick around Bob,as the old saying goes,"you ain't seen nothing yet"!

THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE

Paul Davidson wrote:
Accept, or see, that you are in a contradiction. Observe it. It's rather funny, actually.

Actually...that is why I was sharing it. Because I was observing it. And yes...once the reality of the whole thing sets in, once again...it was rather funny. It's never too funny though, until I get to the point where I'm ready to share it. I get an immense amount of gratitude when I think about the fact that...15 years ago I would have hidden that reality from myself by turning it over to some belief in god.

Bob Dickson wrote:
It's never too funny though

Yes, funny . . . but 'deadly' funny! (if you know what I mean)

What are you waiting for?